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disappointment and overwhelming emotion

crazyruthie

one of the most troubling and upsetting things for me is disappointment. when i get my heart into an idea, it could be, going out to dinner and have something that bothers me about my food (that’s a recurring problem) i’m thrown into a tailspin. i want to cry, i want to get angry at someone, i want to have a tantrum, and the disappointment is crushing. i can also feel the same way about things like, not getting to see your favorite band because you are sick. that’s something that most people would consider very annoying and sad.

the disappointment i feel about little things make people think i’m overreacting  and being a spoiled brat. i wish i did’t feel that terrible disappointment, but i do. it hurts inside. i think a lot of it is that i look forward to things so much that they make me meltdown about anything that doesn’t go the way i thought it would, or wanted it to be.

i wonder sometimes how people who are not mentally ill feel about things like that. i believe that the ‘normal’ people don’t understand how much more powerful emotions are to us, than to them.

i feel everything like it’s a life or death  crisis. i hate it, it’s very traumatic. i think it’s a lot of the reason we have trouble fitting in with the rest of the world because they have no idea what it feels like to be bipolar.they write us off,  and think that all our reactions are over the top.

goddamn i hate being misunderstood!

Published by crazyruthie

i'm an abstract painter, abstract expressionist most of the time. i work in a large variety of mediums. i draw psychedelic pictures with sharpies from time to time. i take photographs from time to time. i love the arts; they inspire me and they are my therapy. i have fibromyalgia and and spinal stenosis along with diabetes and a variety of mental illnesses. the main one is bipolar disorder. i love rescue animals, the interwebz, my husband, my dog, my dad, the arts, rocknroll, coffee, tattoos, diet coke, and going to the movies alone!

25 thoughts on “disappointment and overwhelming emotion”

    1. my therapist and i work a lot on mindfulness, guided meditation, and deep breathing. it’s great stuff, but so hard to put into action when things are going wrong. i think if i tried harder and more often, i might be able to get to be good at it enough in any situation.
      thanks!

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      2. oh yes, herbal tisanes and green teas are very comforting and relaxing. thanks for reminding me, i think i have both tucked away somewhere. do you have anxiety problems? or do you use those things to promote wellness in your life? 🙂

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  5. I get like that also! I think part of my disappointment is that I rarely go out and when I do it is highly organized in way I can handle lol.

    I also have a need to “work up” to the idea ( I hate spur of the moment) Next Saturday is more to my liking 🙂

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      3. Love the name. Liked your anonymous post. I do that a lot, when I see something I like by someone I don’t often look at their profile or ‘about’ straight away as I take things at face value rather than make judgements or be biased by that knowledge. Emotions are the same regardless of age/sex/orientation etc.

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      4. i agree 100%! it’s really cool to be able to get to know someone by seeing/hearing what they choose to project.
        lots of interesting meta thoughts that go will that. a regular can of worms!

        i’m very very glad i have to opportunity to express who i am as *i* want to be. there’s nothing wrong with making stuff up, too! what an opportunity! 🙂

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      7. I’m not quite that uninhibited yet, not quite anonymous enough for that, but I can be much more open and less fearful of judgement since the people we connect with, by virtue of the way this works and the networks people create, are usually more inclined to have fundamental things in common than not.

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      8. that’s true. i can see it because i write, post paintings, and post photos. i think i have a different set of people who are into each one. there are some people who appreciate all three, though. it’s a great situation.

        with other sites i belong to, i just show one or two of them, but never all three. i’m really glad i found blogsville! 🙂

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      14. me too. doh! haha to be honest, i think people who knew me well would recognize who i was right away. the nice thing is that nobody knows i am on this site, so i don’t think it will be a problem.

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