cooking, dessert, Uncategorized

the time Chef Peter made cronuts…

Waaay back in 2013 my husband heard a story about the street vendor who invented cronuts on NPR. He told me about it and the two of us became obsessed.

It was a while ago, so I apologize if I have any of this mixed up. A man invented something wonderful that was a cross between a croissant and a donut…a cronut. He sold them in New York City for $5 each with a limit of 2 per person. He started selling them at 5am lasting for only one hour. Everyday there were crazy lines down the street.

Peter’s version was filled with lemon custard and frosted with dark chocolate frosting. the original had custard and chocolate frosting, too, but he made some adjustments.

The dough is croissant pastry. you should have seen the mastery at work (and the astonishing amount of butter), when he made that!

You form it into a donut shape, leaving room for the lemon custard filling.

Deep fry it and fill it with cold custard and put the chocolate frosting on top.

Eat immediately!

Eating them was an experience unlike any other! The texture is insanely nice. The hot dough and cold custard balance each other perfectly.

You have to eat them when they’re almost too hot to hold so they don’t seem greasy.

The frosting is ganache. He makes it by melting Scharfenberger 79 % dark chocolate in a dish over boiling water. He stirs in heavy cream and lets it cool.

The very dark chocolate contrasts with the sweet custard beautifully.

The whole thing melts in your mouth. It’s perfect harmony!

We both ate 2 and then feel in bed and died.

Damn they were good.

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anxiety, bipolar, blogging, chronic pain, depression, disabled, fibromyalgia, marijuana, medical marijuana, mental illness, Movies, spinal stenosis

A tin of mini joints! yay mmj!

I went to “my” dispensary, Harborside Health Center, in Oakland, CA this morning and the 45 minute drive from where I live (Fremont) was really easy. Sometimes it’s awful.  I drive up 880N on the east San Francisco Bay area going up to the Bay Bridge to “the City.” The freeway leads to a zillion other places, too.

The drive can be a bitch. I wouldn’t go near it during rush hour! But it can develop big problems at any time. I think all of this is like any other big city and it’s surroundings.

The freeway (what do you call it? Highway? Motorway? Autobahn?) I pretty scary in places there are very narrow lanes, and lots of places that have no shoulder, some epically bad merges, and more trucks than you can shake a stick at! For a long time it terrified me to drive up there. Now I know it inside out. I actually enjoy it. It clears my head. It’s also probably the most exciting place I ever go!

Today I bought a lot of mini joints.

tin of mini joints 2

Big joints or cones or blunts are just too much for me and since it’s medicine, I don’t share it with anyone. nobody wants to light up something you were smoking before and put out. Yuck! I came across these mini joints are perfect for me or anyone wants to smoke a joint by themselves. The cute tin is great for carrying them somewhere else you need to take your medicine. They’re also a really good deal. They’re 1/4g. The tins cost $40 and hold 12 mini joints.

So! Time to talk about movies. Last weekend my huz and I went to see Valerian. The eye candy was gorgeous. It was very creative and the best special effects I’ve seen in a long time. The girl who plays Loreline is Thea from Arrow. That was a surprise. I like her character on Arrow, so I liked her right away. She’s hotter than hot and loves to show it off. I was very surprised that Valerian was male! For some reason I thought he was a girl. Doh!

I’m only talking about surface things because it’s still me and I won’t give you any spoilers.

Atomic Blonde is out now. I adore Charlize Theron and slick action films are hardly deep, but they’re fun to watch. I have a feeling I’ll be going to that alone next week!

This weekend we are celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary! One of the things we’re going to do to celebrate is to see Dunkirk. It got great reviews and it’s my very favorite subjects! (I have a b.a. in British history.

Tonight, as a beginning of our celebration, my husband brought me a s’mores sundae. It had real toasted marshmallows on top, they were even kind of burnt, as they should be! We’re going to have a special dinner, but I dunno what. We don’t exchange gifts, he has everything he could ever want, I just got a new phone from my dad, I don’t really need anything. We share the money so what’s the point? We do fun stuff instead!

On the upcoming Tuesday I scheduled 3 doctor’s appointments! Is that mind-blowing or what?? Who has that many doctor’s appointments?? I had to postpone one and I’m going to the other two because they are both psychiatric. I’m seeing my therapist and going to group. The third appointment was in the same department, but it was just getting started with a doctor who runs an acupuncture and meditation group. I can’t wait to start that, though!

I will be seeing my psychiatrist sometime next week, too! Can you tell I’m feeling crazier than crazy? I’m trying to keep myself out of the hospital.

On that jolly note I shall say gooodnight, at least for the moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

abstract, art, art therapy, bipolar, black and white, chronic illness, chronic pain, depression, disabled, fibromyalgia, illness, insomnia, mania, mental illness, pen and ink, psychedelic, spinal stenosis

“3 am”

3am

A couple of nights ago a panic attack woke up at 3 am. Í think i had the attack because I was in a lot of pain and that made my mind flip out. I got up because I was wide awake and anxious as hell. 

I sat at the dining room table from 3 am until 8 am when it was finished. 

This is just line art so it doesn’t look that exciting, but I enjoyed it so much that I am making another one that is larger and has a lot of filling in and highlighting. Stay tuned!
Sleep well WordPressers!

Uncategorized

Another piece outsider art, more art therapy.

IMG_20170708_172831

“Questions”

When I was drawing this, I was able to concentrate and got entirely engrossed in working on it. It was excellent! I spent a long time on this, in my sketchbook. 

There are a lot of words in this drawing but most of them don’t show up. I am going to try another similar one, being careful to make the words show.

This was done with prismacolor markers. I have a bunch of them. They come in odd colors that are very different from sharpies, which I use most for drawing with.

I saw #spiderman this afternoon! No spoilers but I really liked it and so did my husband! I wouldn’t be surprised if I went against next week. There will be a second Spiderman film following this one, yay!

 Right now I’m looking forward to Dunkirk (I have a history degree and I have read about the battle.) I really hope they make it historically correct! I also I’m very excited about  Valerian. The two Steven King movies coming up look great. “It” looks like it’s going be scary. I love horror movies , so, yay again! The second one, The Dark Tower will be even better!

 My dad is buying me a new phone! I’m getting the LG 6G. the storage on this phone i’m using now is almost full, it’s slow, weird stuff happens like thing not lanch or crashing. It doesn’t have a second slot so you can add memory. The one I’m getting is one of the few phones that have a second slot. in general it’s a real  step up from 2.5 year old phone I have now! This is fantastic! I was saving, very slowly. The dear old dad offered to pay for it! (I always buy my phones unlocked.)

I have been smoking joints rather than my bong. I used to hate them, but now I love them. I’m constantly changing my mind obout what  I want.i like the joints, they provide instant relief, whereas the capsules last a lot longer but take a long time for it to kick in, especially if I have food in my tummy. It can take hours.

Oh and there’s so much more! But I will stop for now. 

Have a good evening and get a good night’s sleep!

 

 

 

art, bipolar, blogging, chronic illness, chronic pain, depression, fibromyalgia, health, Life, Movies, watercolors, weightloss

spontaneous blog post

I’m laying on the couch all propped up with pillows with a heating pad behind me. I took an mmj edible and a prescription NSAID.

My back is a bitch. My spine problems are acting up. I can just hear L4 and L5 screaming. Sometimes it’s like needles poking inside or sometimes an intense ache or a feeling of extreme tightness or it can be something that feels like a great deal of pressure.  It occurs to me that I should check out things specifically for lumbar support.

Low back pain is the most common medical ailment. That’s what a doctor told me when I saw him a few years ago, for….low back pain. He told me to take Ibuprofen. If he had paid a little more attention, maybe he would have been able to see that I needed more than to just take Ibuprofen. I’m sure he was right about his statistic, but he never even asked questions about my pain or any specifics. Doctors probably see a few people a day who say they have low back pain. I can see how they have an automatic answer for the problem, but that doesn’t keep me from feeling some measure of bitterness

I got the feeling that he thought all the low back potential patients were drug seekers. I have to admit that I would have been glad if he had given me painkillers but that’s not why I went to see him and I didn’t ask for them.

ANYWAY, lol, I didn’t go to the movies this week because there was nothing to see. I was very disappointed; I love going to the movies, it’s such a treat! Maybe if I have a couple of weeks (there’s nothing good showing this week either) without going, it will keep it a treat. Wow, though–July and August are going to be fab movie months!

Netflix has become a really close friend. I think most chronically ill people would agree. I’ve been having a fibromyagia flare, a spinal stenosis flare, and my newly coined term, a depression flare. So I’ve been watching anything that seems mildly interesting.

I was able to keep creating through everything. That’s a sanity saver. I painted every day! Lately I am using my Japanese watercolors on watercolor paper. For the last two years when I painted with watercolors, which was a lot, I used Yupo, a synthetic paper that isn’t pourous.

I need to start working in my watercolor journal with watercolor pens again. It turned out that I liked the first set of those pens, which I bought spontaneously when I was in the art store for some paint, enough to get another set a couple of weeks ago. I’m going to finish this watercolor journal and get another. I like making these as epic gifts or to sell.

I’m on a plateau in my weightloss journey. I’m mostly 57 pounds (26kg) down but right now I’m going up a pound or two and down a pound or two. I’m eating sparsely to try to getting back to losing weight. Basically I’m maintaining my weight which is enough for me to feel ok, in the short term.

Saying how much I have lost and that there is more to go, is really really hard because saying that shows that I was pretty damn big and I’m not small in the least now. I’ve never said that on the interwebz before.

That’s enough for now.
Happy weekend!

anxiety, chronic illness, chronic pain, disabled, drugs, health, illness, medical marijuana, surgery

epidural steroid injection

on thursday i am going to have my sixth epidural  steroid injection. the injection helps control the pain from the problems in my back. i have spinal stenosis which is a narrowing of the spinal column which causes some if the discs to get squashed (like my technical term?) and pinch nerves.

i have problems at L4 and L5 as well as the sacroiliac joint. my pain doctor performs the procedure.

they say “procedure” but to me it seems a lot like surgery! i have to fast, stop taking NSAIDS several days before, etc.  i go to the surgery center and change into a hospital gown, a icky  papery shower cap sort of thing to gather up my hair. they give you cool socks with treads on the bottom. i love them. i’ve quite a collection now.

two nurses come in and put you under a blanket from a warmer, oh jeez that feels good. no matter how hot it outside, it’s freezing cold in the surgery center, plus it’s just reassuring to have a warm blanket over you. they put in an iv and ask me a million questions. even though i’ve done this many times, i still feel a little scared each time.

the nurses are so very very nice. when the doctor finishes her previous case she comes in and talks to me and then they roll me into the OR which is incredibly cold. i have to roll over onto the operating table and lay on my tummy. there is a head rest, like they use during massages. they start giving me fentynal and versed–conscious sedation. you are high as a kite, so it’s almost fun. lol

i hate laying there for 45 minutes with basically nothing on, my butt just hanging out, uncovered. joy. luckily the drugs make you not care too much because i find it extremely discomforting to be nude in a room full of people. there are lots of nurses. the doctor wears a lead apron because they use a giant x-ray  machine that is mounted  on the ceiling and tilts around as they need it to. that’s how they know exactly where  to inject the cortisone…pretty important since they’re putting it in my spine. the injections hurt some going in, but after that it’s not too bad.

when they’re done i get back on the gurney, more embarrassment because the hospital gown is totally open and practically flapping around as you move. then everybody gets to see everything!  i’m sure they don’t give a shit, seen it a million times. but i do! once you’re on the gurney they immediately drown you in warm blankets. the feeling is so good, like the drugs, it’s almost worth it just for that. lol

in the recovery room they put ice packs on your back, keep you awhile for making sure your vitals are good and you’re not going to have a bad reaction or flip out or whatever.

omg i have to pee once i get out of the operating room, so that’s a priority! another time i had this surgery, the surgeon was an hour an half late so i feel asleep. i woke up  and they were rolling me into the OR and i had to pee bad, i mean really really bad. but we were practically there so i couldn’t say anything. it was horrible!  i was pretty sure i would wet myself on the table. that’s not so good for a sterile environment. thank goodness the drugs made it so i didn’t feel like i had to pee. when i got out of surgery, i didn’t have to pee badly, go figure!

you don’t stay in the recovery long and your ride comes and takes you home. you have to have someone stay with you for 24 hours. then the back pain kicks in. it’s pretty unfun for a few days. i’ve got quite a bit of various medical marijuana edibles for that time.

after that, you wait. sometimes the injections work and sometimes they don’t. it’s a crap shoot. last one keep my pain low for about 9 months! most of the others did nothing. but i’ll try anything time after and after.  the pain is very motivating.

so now i get to worry about it until 8am on thursday. 😦

i’ll be ok though, i always am. 🙂