anxiety, bipolar, chronic illness, depression, fibromyalgia, health, illness, mental illness, Movies, tv


When I was a kid my parents had me write in a journal what I watched on TV and how long I spent watching. I was only allowed 8 hours per week, including Saturday morning cartoons!

I didn’t know what my classmates were talking about when they got excited about shows they watched every night. I was amazed when they talked about watching TV all day on Saturdays.

My parents were both teachers and were left wing idealists. So I was raised differently from my friends. We never had any junk food around, I wasn’t allowed to eat sugar cereal and I had to drink diet soda. All these things don’t seem like that much, but together, especially the way kids latch onto anything they see as different, like me. Not only was I weird because I had very little experience with pop culture, but I really liked the learning part of school too! god forbid a kid cares about what is being taught​!

My whole life, as an adult, and even when I was in university, I didn’t watch much TV and rarely went to the movies. If someone turned on a TV I’d leave the room (I did watch Twin Peaks and Ren and Stimpy and a bit of MTV. That was when they showed music videos and bizarre, wonderful things like Liquid TV)

Even my favorite shows weren’t imporant to me. I could pass a few weeks and not watch anything.

For many years I didn’t even own a tv. When my husband insisted on buying a big tv I had a fit! I made him put it in the computer room. He liked to play console games on it, too. That seemed like a reasonable use of a tv.

My huz and I had many little conflicts about him wanting us to watch things together and I didn’t. I didn’t want him to watch anything at, but I was very insecure and had to be in the same room as my husband. Poor guy! I followed him around crying.

Having a tablet and Netflix made it all change. I could watch things alone, and I didn’t have to compromise on what to watch. Netflix original shows provided excellent content that actually kept my interest.

now I watch a couple of hours a day and I go to the movies at least once a week. Considering how bored I get, being stuck at home with my illnesses keeping me from doing things most people do, watching stuff is a bit of a life saver. It makes time pass more quickly.

I ‘ve had to tell myself that watching TV isn’t morally wrong!

Life, Uncategorized

i’m a ramblin’ gal

here you go, ramblin’ ramblin’

thursday  was the first  of my two surgeries, nerve ablations on the right side,this past thursday and on the left side in two weeks.

i dreaded it a lot because i’d never had one before and the doctor said i’d be on the table for 45 mins to an hour. it’s conscious sedation, so that’s a loooong time. with the epidural steroid injections it was more like 15 minutes to do a couple of shots. this was nine needles that went in my spine which cauterized the nerves. hopefully when they fully die, i’ll feel a lot better. we’ll see. most of what they’ve done hasn’t helped much at all, but i’ll keep hoping.

i can’t wait to go to the movies again! it’s been a week since i last went. peter and i saw “the BFG,” which was awesome. this weekend it’s star trek. peter wants to see it too, so we’ll probably see it next weekend, but i’ll probably see it this week, too. there are just too many children’s movies out now! i saw zootopia and finding dory and of course the BFG. now we have the secret life of pets, no thanks! and the ice age (i’ve forgotten the whole title) double no thanks. there’s a horror film, which i’d normally choose right away, but it’s rated PG-13, so i hesitate. how can you have a good horror film that isn’t R rated??? i’m hoping Suicide Squad opens next weekend….oooooo!

i ate licorice for the first time in ages. i went to 7-11 to get my daily big gulp (always diet dr. pepper) and wanted candy. chocolate would melt in a moment because it’s so hot, so i got twizzlers, red ropes, of course. if you bite off both ends you can use it as a straw for your soda. it’s best with pepsi. that’s bizarre because i hate pepsi. i guess red licorice is the secret ingredient to making pepsi taste good.

we have the air conditioning on. i like to shut all the blinds and curtains to totally shut the world out. with the windows and doors shut i can’t hear anything from outside and vice versa! it gets dim and chilly. i put on long sleeve t-shirts and socks (i like the ones they give you from the surgery center) pj bottoms. i curl up on the couch and binge watch Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. i could talk about it all day but i don’t know anyone else who watches it. i just watched the first episode of the 3rd season. i’m getting dangeriously close to the current season! i’ll have to start checking out a new show to get obsesses with in a week or two.

i finally worked up  to having peter dye my hair. it’s been dyed black for 15 years or so. lately, since i haven’t been feeling well, and my least concern is my appearance, it’s been waaaaay too long between taking care of it. i was, am still, a little shocked at how much tof the hair that’s grown out was gray! that’s taken care of. shwew!  my face looks super pale now, surrounded by all that super dark black hair.  i’m always pretty pale so it hardly matters. i think i’ll have him cut my hair, too. i think i’d like 4 or 5 inches off. it’s hot, has a tendency to get tangled. i have split ends and the last couple of inches are scraggly.

we had japanese for dinner. it was good. yum yum miso soup!

if you found that interesting, i worry about you. i just typed until i didn’t feel like typing anymore. btw, my feet are really, really cold…i wish those surgery center socks were clean! now i have to find a pair that matches! gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh




Entertainment, Life, Uncategorized

welcome to tonight’s ramble.

the best part of the day was the chocolate chip cookies. I ate a lot. they were really good. when my doctor tells me: LOSE WEIGHT STOP SMOKING POT! even though my pot is legal medical marijuana which helps my pain more than the narcotics they pushed on me for so long.

listen to the radio station SOMAfm. there is so much cool electronica. all sorts of things.

I haven’t done much watching of TV, movies at home or in the theater, not even YouTube videos. I have no idea why, but for the last two months I’ve been going to moves at the theater two-ish times a week. Now I’ve started watching things on Netflix! It eats up days though.

It helps me pass the time; the pain is bad enough that I have to stay in bed mostly. Going to the movies is challenging, but worth it. I consider it a treat, but it hurts!

The worst part of the day was when I was closing a sliding door and smashed my finger. Lol