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a bipolar weekend

i’ve had the kind of weekend that makes me feel especially bipolar!

andrew took the day off on friday so we could hang out. we watched a marathon of Archer. i got super stoned and laughed until it hurt and i felt dumb. lol! then i started to feel like i was missing life because of all the things that keep me from doing all the things i want to.  it’s just a huge list of things that provoke anxiety and fear. bleh.

it was my birthday on saturday. andrew made me chewy chocolate and macadamia nut cookies! i refuse to divulge how many i ate! i got lots of birthday wishes online, yay! i bought myself some luxurious stationery as a birthday gift. i want to use my dip pens to make epic letters, dunno who i’ll send ’em to, but we’ll see. i just had to have it!

when i logged on today i saw that one of the photographs in my neighborhood series was made a “Daily Deviation” or DD on deviantart. it’s a pretty big deal. there are a lot of categories and they choose something from each category to put on the front page each day and it gets a lot of attention. this was my first, although i had one in another account. it’s hard to describe, kinda like an honor.

i was floored, especially because it was photography. i’m a painter! i’m glad my project is being recognized though!

this is the photo they chose…

324

it’s been raining and chilly. my bursitis and my arthritis are very unhappy. i spent a long time on the couch today. standing hurts but sitting upright hurts even more. i have to be laying down mostly. so many things i want to do. (i think i sound a bit manic!) it’s frustrating.

i’ve been working on another of those super detailed drawings. i was getting very close to being finished and then the ultra fine sharpie that i was using broke. the nib snapped right off. strange! it was the only one of that color i had. i went to a few places to get another set, just to get that one color, i HAD to finish it! all you people with OCD will  understand that. 🙂 everything was closed really early for easter. i’m there, tomorrow i’ll be there!

i started a new journal today. don’t know what to think about that.

i had a lot of down points today, too. my moods were swinging pretty quickly. as i say, i “fell off a cliff…” several times. i kept trying to tell myself it wasn’t ok to get upset during my birthday weekend. andrew and i have a little pact about that. certain times are off limits for freak outs. it usually   works pretty well. the anxiety was powerful today.

i had a really hard time keeping track of time this weekend. i always thought it was later or earlier than it was. i did some really nice cuddling with mackie on the sofa. he’sssssssssss sooooooooo cute!

so sleepy right now, but i’m gonna fight it cause i really DO not want to have trouble sleeping tonight!

i don’t really know what to do with myself. damn i wish i had that marker!

so slllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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244 and 244.2

today’s addition to the neighborhood series.

244.2

when i took the shot i noticed that there were some wonderful highlights of red in it, and it looked so summery and alive. i had to have a color version of the picture because it’s so lovely. personally, i like the color one a lot better, but i also had to keep the continuity of the series.

244

quite a difference!

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233

233

i was trying to post one picture per day, but dammit, the sun was out, i was walking around and then i saw this. look at all the different patterns of branches and leaves and shrubs, throwing shadows on the houses and garage doors. it was taken mid afternoon so the sun was already starting to set (still waaay to early!) and the shadows were long. it’s hard to tell the shadow from the tree at a quick glance.

i wanted it to look dreamy, magic, alive.

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231

231

this is another photo, in what is turning out to be a series, of a house in my neighborhood that has cool shadows on it, and that i edited in a similar way to the others.

there was rain this morning, and then glare so i thought it would be a hopeless day for shooting pictures. (i’m trying to do one of these everyday.)  i decided to go to starbuck’s just to get out of the house and when i got to the top of my street i noticed a house down the street had some cool shadows on it. i turned left there, which is really usual. i’m not very familiar with that street. i parked and took a bunch of pictures. i knew i’d found the photo for today.

others in the series….

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rough terrain: bipolar

Back Camera

this is another in my series “Rough Terrain,” a theme i explored in 2012. i was playing with negative emotions and texture  in my paintings. this is another one that represents my bipolar mind.

acrylics and acrylic mediums on a 16″x20″ canvas board.