a bipolar weekend

i’ve had the kind of weekend that makes me feel especially bipolar!

andrew took the day off on friday so we could hang out. we watched a marathon of Archer. i got super stoned and laughed until it hurt and i felt dumb. lol! then i started to feel like i was missing life because of all the things that keep me from doing all the things i want to.  it’s just a huge list of things that provoke anxiety and fear. bleh.

it was my birthday on saturday. andrew made me chewy chocolate and macadamia nut cookies! i refuse to divulge how many i ate! i got lots of birthday wishes online, yay! i bought myself some luxurious stationery as a birthday gift. i want to use my dip pens to make epic letters, dunno who i’ll send ’em to, but we’ll see. i just had to have it!

when i logged on today i saw that one of the photographs in my neighborhood series was made a “Daily Deviation” or DD on deviantart. it’s a pretty big deal. there are a lot of categories and they choose something from each category to put on the front page each day and it gets a lot of attention. this was my first, although i had one in another account. it’s hard to describe, kinda like an honor.

i was floored, especially because it was photography. i’m a painter! i’m glad my project is being recognized though!

this is the photo they chose…


it’s been raining and chilly. my bursitis and my arthritis are very unhappy. i spent a long time on the couch today. standing hurts but sitting upright hurts even more. i have to be laying down mostly. so many things i want to do. (i think i sound a bit manic!) it’s frustrating.

i’ve been working on another of those super detailed drawings. i was getting very close to being finished and then the ultra fine sharpie that i was using broke. the nib snapped right off. strange! it was the only one of that color i had. i went to a few places to get another set, just to get that one color, i HAD to finish it! all you people with OCD will  understand that. 🙂 everything was closed really early for easter. i’m there, tomorrow i’ll be there!

i started a new journal today. don’t know what to think about that.

i had a lot of down points today, too. my moods were swinging pretty quickly. as i say, i “fell off a cliff…” several times. i kept trying to tell myself it wasn’t ok to get upset during my birthday weekend. andrew and i have a little pact about that. certain times are off limits for freak outs. it usually   works pretty well. the anxiety was powerful today.

i had a really hard time keeping track of time this weekend. i always thought it was later or earlier than it was. i did some really nice cuddling with mackie on the sofa. he’sssssssssss sooooooooo cute!

so sleepy right now, but i’m gonna fight it cause i really DO not want to have trouble sleeping tonight!

i don’t really know what to do with myself. damn i wish i had that marker!

so slllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


244 and 244.2

today’s addition to the neighborhood series.


when i took the shot i noticed that there were some wonderful highlights of red in it, and it looked so summery and alive. i had to have a color version of the picture because it’s so lovely. personally, i like the color one a lot better, but i also had to keep the continuity of the series.


quite a difference!




this is the latest photograph in the ‘neighborhood’ series.

this series has been really good for me. i am just taking shots at places in my neighborhood (who would have guessed? lol)

that are close enough for me to walk to. that’s a big deal for me. my agoraphobia has lifted enough that i can go outside in public places. i have a purpose to be out there…getting a shot for everyday’s neighborhood photo. it’s getting to be a bit of a ritual.

it makes me feel good because i have a goal i can reach. i haven’t had a day yet that i couldn’t get a picture i liked. some are better than others, but i think that’s just how a project like this works.

it’s important for me to get out and moving around because my bursitis and arthritis (let’s write a musical!) keep me in the house, stuck in one spot, all day. i didn’t walk far, but it was enough to find a new picture and enjoy the sun and the flowers all over people’s porches. yay!




the latest installment in the neighborhood series.

occasionally i include the rest of the series in one of the new posts just so people can get a better feel for what i’m doing and i think they’re more pleasing to see together. so here are the rest! (not in order because it doesn’t matter what comes first or last or in between.)

241 240.1 239 238 237 324 235 236 233 232 231 230 229 228 226