anxiety, bipolar, chronic illness, depression, fatigue, fibromyalgia, health, illness, insomnia, mania, mental illness, psychiatry, spinal stenosis, stress relief

group (therapy)

i used to go to group, but then something horrible happened there and i stopped going. ย the thing that happened…oh wait, i signed a document saying i am not supposed to talk about what anybody says in group. i guess you’ll just have to not know! my psychiatrist has been nagging me to go group for, literally, years.

about a month ago i decided try to do something about getting myself out of the hole i was hiding, and torturing myself while i was there. had been like that…bad anxiety, depression, both manic and depressive episodes (mixed episodes), not sleeping much, eating badly, and on and on ย for a very long time.

at that time i started to go to group again. it’s been very helpful at getting myself out of the house. we talk, and and relate with each other and cry. we usually end doing something mindful, like guided mediation, to settle ourselves down from a taxing hour.

i’m able to go to group because it’s totally free form. you can show up or leave while it’s going on. sometimes i just sit and doodle, listening. sometimes it’s two people, sometimes it’s 10.

i need all the help my medical team can give me! i see my pain doctor tomorrow.

have a great evening!

artist, bipolar, disabled, painting, stress relief, Uncategorized

living in the moment

today has been a bit tough. there’s quite a lot of day left, so who knows, it could go either way. they tell people with things like mental illnesses or chronic pain to live in the moment as much as possible. I have both…bipolar I and spinal stenosis/sciatica/arthritis/degenerative disc disease. I’m getting pretty good at staying in the now and being mindful.

all that puts a weird spin on life. if you’re immersed in the moment, you can’t really make plans. I’m trying my best to forget there even is a future. If I realize there is another 40 years that have to concentrate on living minute to minute. that’s a helluva lot of minutes. can I do it? yes, of course, there aren’t any other options I would consider.

I have to make just about everything I do a treat. I have the time and it’s acceptable, even encouraged, to nap frequently. who has that luxury? probably only people who have chronic illnesses and independently wealthy people whose lives are going no where. lol I have to appreciate napping even if i’m doing it because of severe fatigue.

I got all that coffee stuff from Amazon that I mentioned in my last post. (I love ordering things online, it gives me something to look forward to…but to live in the moment I can only look forward to mail one day at at a time)(BTW, does anyone want a pen pal, I promise I’ll write back! and I generally use nice stationary and will enclose a small piece of original art…

back to the coffee making supplies. I’m going to be using a French press pot, so it’s going to be a bit of a pain in the butt to make some, several steps, some time and some cleaning up. I did that on purpose. I’m a stereotypical coffee lover. this will be a ritual…and a treat!

painting is just like that, as well as being very therapeutic. it even has an exciting finished product. not only that, I have something to share with online people, getting feedback, advice, interesting interpretations, attention (who doesn’t want that!?) and even praise, if I’m lucky!

there are lots of other examples.

so, there is a way to exist with chronic pain and mental illness, but it takes thought and effort.

I’m hanging in there, and I always will be! ๐Ÿ˜€