anxiety, bipolar, chronic illness, chronic pain, depression, diabetes, driving, drugs, fatigue, fibromyalgia, health, mental illness, oakland california, spinal stenosis, stress relief

Last night I didn’t sleep at all. My knee and leg pain are coming back strong. I don’t know why Monday and Tuesday weren’t too bad, but yesterday and today, my-oh-my! The pain and painsomnia spurred me to go back to the dispensary for more edibles. Ahhh…

It rained here this morning! Rain in  California virtually unheard of between April and October. Crazy! The drive up to Oakland was pretty rainy. I felt more novelty than the fear I usually get when I drive on the Freeway. I’m so used to that drive that nothing about it freaks me out. there are​ parts with 8 narrow lanes, no shoulder and a line of merging trucks.

I got capsules full of ground up cannabis which is toasted sesame oil. They work like edibles but aren’t high sugar/ high calorie. That keeps me from eating the edibles just cause they taste good! I’ve been known to do that!

The pain is already improving!I’m tired! Maybe I’ll watch TV or draw. Damn, my eyes hurt!

How is your afternoon?

abstract, adult coloring page, art, black and white, drawing, fun art, pen and ink, religion, stress relief

Line art 7, free to color

Hi! This is some abstract line art for coloring! Anybody can use it, but please credit me for my part…the line art. I don’t even know if you can download stuff from here. If it’s not or you want the full-size file email me:

very.crazy..ruthie @ (no spaces.)




a boat stuck in the mud

i have had trouble with agoraphobia for last couple of years. i have been stuck (by the lovely whims of my mind) at home, and mostly in one room in the house. it’s been lifting a bit, but it’s been bad enough that it still keeps me here most of the time. i’m able to leave the house a few days a week. part of what made it so difficult was driving. i was scared to death to drive. my car scared me, other drivers scared me, i scared me! lol

i have a nice car, but it’s old, about 15 years old. it looks good, but was driving like a boat stuck in the mud (whatever that’s supposed to mean!). it seems hard to control and i practically had to floor it to get going at a decent speed. it’s never had engine trouble, and i know nil about cars, so i didn’t realize that’s why it was feeling so crappy.

i got ready to go to pick up a prescription and it made some appalling noises. we had it towed to the shop and it ended up costing us $1700!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

however, it’s totally different! everything is snappy and solid. they cleaned it beautifully and it feels like driving a new car!

(note to self, get regular maintenance done on your car!)

i left the house today, just to go to the post office, but i am pretty pleased with myself. 🙂 the car is wonderful and i think i’ll be able to get out and drive places sometimes, maybe a lot more often!