a discussion of my feelings about a particular painting

today i’m going to discuss the feelings i was trying to get across in a certain painting, how i created t he work that came from those emotions, and what it means to me now.

i  made this mixed media painting in 2011. “rain forest” it’s one of my favorites. i didn’t have a lot in mind about how i wanted it to turn out look, but i had the feeling that things were too chaotic in my life and i wanted to soothe my mind.
the rainforest

i am bipolar and my artwork is an important part of my therapy. i can make paintings with atmospheres that reflect what i WANT to feel like. i paint things that create an emotion, an atmosphere, to speak of complex feelings that i don’t always know how to express in any other way.

the process of painting is a wonderful feeling. i think a lot of artists paint using a ritual. for instance, i get stoned, put  on appropriate music adjust the light carefully, put on crappy painting clothes  and i choose the medium, the paper, the colors, the brushes and set it all up just right. i put out the colors in plastic trays and get a cup of water.

when i do all that, it helps me organize my thougts, channel my inspiration, and dream up ideas.

this painting turned out much better than expected. for one thing, i don’t like green and i don’t usually put something different from the rest, as a foreground. i really got into making it, it probably took 2-3 hours. it’s small, about 9″x6″ which is close to A5.

i made it in layers. the first latyer, the background is a pale yellowish green and covered it with watercolr paint mixed with  a watercolor medium that makes the paint iridescent. i made a lot of drips and stains  and spots to make it more sophisticaticed. next i used many different greens, mostly medium colors, i didn’t want the middle groumd to be too obvious. at that point i thought i might be done. after quite a bit of thought, i decided it wasn’t finished. i didn’t think, i just did. and that’s how i ended up with the flowy tree/bush thing that it smuch darker than the rest, to make it stand out from the rest of the painting.

when i was finished i was very pleased and propped it up on my desk to appreciate. eventually i gave it to a good friend who sent me a picture iof it hanging on his wall!