Breakfast, Carmel, Ca, disabled, dog, ocean, pictures, stress relief, vacation

little trip to Carmel, CA

This weekend we went on a little vacation. It was just overnight in Carmel, CA which is about 2 hours SW of me, just south of Monterey. It’s a beautiful little town. There is a gallery and boutique sort of downtown, which isn’t my thing. If you get into the residential areas and to the lovely, cold beaches, I love it. Sometimes it’s warm, but mostly quite cool.

The houses are pretty small but beautiful. They’re like fairy houses! They’re not very far from the road or each other, but they’re surrounded by flowers and trees.

It’s very much a pedestrian and dog town. There are people walking their dogs all around the place. Everyone is so friendly!

The stayed in a pretty little cottage with a backyard. It was  an easy walk from a beach. No length of walk is easy for me so I stayed in the cottage and snuggled up in a big chair with a blanket and my dog! My huz sent me pictures of the beach and views around there.

We grilled veggies and sausages. It wasn’t too chilly to sit outside and eat; there was nice furniture out there. Mackie (the dog) got to wander around and hide in the flowers and ferns.

I brought my bong so I could still use my mmj. It was nice to sit in the brisk air to smoke.

They had streaming Netflix so we watched The Matrix Reloaded.

We went to bed early because the bed was insanely luxurious getting under the covers was like being in a giant feather sandwich. It was all so soft and smooth. It’s the only hotel bed that my huzzy could sleep in.

They brought a nice breakfast and we hung out. The drive home was easy.

soooooo totally chill.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

anxiety, bipolar, disabled, feelings, fibromyalgia, Life, medicine

snapshot

i usually get coffee, about 7:30. i get my coffee at 7-11. i can make better coffee at home, but i like getting up and going somewhere. the guy working smiled and greeted me, and i him. he knows i like the hazelnut coffee, so if it’s gone or not fresh he’ll make a pot for me as soon as he sees me. 🙂 so the coffee is always really hot and fresh. sometimes, ok, i’ll admit it, most of the the i get a donut, a chocolate long, bar shaped one. it has custard inside. ahhhhh…when i’m feeling strong about losing weight i don’t get a donut. yesterday and today i didn’t get one, yay! i sit in my car and eat my donut, drink my coffee and drive around or go  to a store and buy something under a dollar.

i never want to be around the house when people are getting ready. it makes me wonder what it would  be like to be able to take a shower everyday.it makes me wonder what it would be like to look nice with my hair looking nice and jewelry on. it makes me want to be able to socialize with my co-workers and enjoy it.i’d love to have NO MEDICINE to take before, during, and after work.

i have a lot of things most people with jobs never have, good things. not working, can be as much a bad thing  as a good. you enjoy it for about the first six months and then you start to feel bored and useless. and you have to accept you’ll never work again. i was politely asked to go on disability. that was in 2000. gaaaaaaaaaaaaah i expected to be successful, not shuffled out the door. i felt like i was fired. i never dreamed that it could happen to me.

as i was saying i was there are bad things about working and i miss having to  have something to do with my life, but c’mon, i get up when i  feel like it, at least by the time my huz gets up when his alarm goes off. that’s at 8. when i worked we had to be there and bright and shiny, between  5:00am and 7:00am, depending on the schedule.i’ll never miss that job, except for the stock, but that’s an entirely different story.

now i  only have appointments like taking my dog to get his claws clipped, or for  my manicure, very very low stress.i don’t have to have short lunches where i run around and try to get errands done.i don’t have to deal with rush hour. i have a dog that’s getting older and i can take him out every two hours, i can’t imagine the poor thing shut out on our balcony having  having to wait desperately for 8-9 hours. he wouldn’t get enough  play or exercise.

weekends still excite me! i think TGIF! or have a good weekend or it’s gonna be great to have some time off. all my time is free time. the huz is home on the weekend.and i’m really glad about that!

mind you, that’s all great but i’m chronically ill. the only time i leave the house is that trip for coffee. i’m in pain, i have limited mobility, fatigue,  on and on.

so maybe i should say, i wish i had somewhere to go in the morning, to have a point to my day and be able to do a good job. but all that hinges on my being healthy. and i’m not.

but i try to make the best of it. i still do thing  things as though i was getting ready. but on fresh clothes, brush my hair or and do zillion things to my face, make sure my nails are ok; put on psoriasis cream, put lotion on my legs and feet. and then i have to carefully clean up after myself because we share the master bathroom double sinks and the huz is a nazi about that counter. it has to be completely bare except for our electric toothbrushes and some hand soap. i had to fight just to get the hand soap on there, too. jeez.

so, it’s complicated, and i think i won’t think about it anymore! Shame on you fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis, and diabetes. there is nothing good about any of you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

abstract, abstractexpressiomism, anxiety, art, artist, chronic pain, disabled, Life, painting, stress relief, Uncategorized

damn that app!

there are so many posts i would have written if i’d been using my computer (like i am now) rather than the app on my phone or tablet. obviously there’s the typing issue. i can type pretty quickly on a real keyboard, but on a touch pad… it’s the same for everyone. more than that though, there are so many things that are broken or simply never worked in the first place, it’s extremely difficult to navigate and about as opaque as can be.

i usually am in bed or on the couch because of my fibromyalgia and spine problems. i’ve written some about some of that, but nothing about the fibro and nothing about the illnesses at all in months. a lot of things happened and i learned things, am still learning things, and finding way to deal with my new-ish (it’s been leading up to here for about 2 years)issues. that’s mainly what i wanted to talk about over these months, but i couldn’t face typing all that out on a touch keyboard. being in places like bed that are so unstructured, even with a lap desk, and a bluetooth keyboard, really doesn’t work for me. i’ve tried just about everything.  nothing compares to a PC at a big desk and a good desk chair. i’ve got that, and i’m lucky, i know.

i haven’t used this desk first because my pain was such that being on the couch was the most comfortable place to be for a very long time. the main things i do are internet, art, and sleep (and complain). i moved all my art stuff and general desk stuff downstairs (and there is a LOT of it) downstairs. i was living down there almost entirely.

i came upstairs, these last few weeks, but i have to be in bed most of the time, the pain is bad enough that even the couch is too painful to be on for long. the bed and this desk are upstairs. so i spend most of my time in bed, during bad spots, like what most of the days have been like, lately. since the computer room, where i am now (aka the red room…yes, the walls are painted dark red….)

workspace_2013_by_crazyruthie

{as i was writing i remembered this photo. that’s what it was like in 2013 before all this pain started.}

…..is on the same floor as the bedroom i come in here to do computer things or draw or just sit in the desk chair which, i forgot, has a special lumbar support feature, so it makes my back quite happy.

i’m veering off topic, not that i was on topic before, cause the only topic was supposed to be about why i hated the app and i finished that up in the first paragraph. i just kept going! and so i guess i can say anything! i’m not very good at doing things in order.

so back to where i work, spend my time, get whatever or nothing done, etc.

this is where i work now looks like..

 

{aren’t those circles hilarious?}

basically i’m using half the dining room table. i clear it all off sometimes, like the top pic or stick everything in one corner and try to take up as little room as possible, like the bottom pic. (those are my japanese watercolors, i wrote most of a post about them a couple months ago. if you want to read about them i’ll  show you.)

you want to see more workspace photos, you say? no problem, i answer!

 

i have an appointment with my new dentist today. i wasn’t going to see him until 2017 because i used up all our dental insurance for the year with 2 root canals at $1500 a pop. one of the temporary crowns got damaged and it didn’t hurt, so i was going to wait to get  it fixed. well, now it hurts and i’m not doing thanksgiving without being able to chew properly! i had a big disaster at my last dentist, they couldn’t understand my new, disabled person, needs and so i got mad and found a new dentist! so, i’ll be meeting him in 2.5 hours. i’m scared to death cause i have no idea what it will be like there, but it’s a big practice and i have a feeling they’ll be a lot more professional and they’ll have a much more modern office. still…  i’m also really worried about how much i’m hurting now, because it’s very hard just to get around the house. boy oh boy i better not get lost!!!!!!!

bye for now!

Uncategorized

goodnight!

for the longest time I thought I had to have something significant to write here, something interesting and of import. I found myself wanting to write posts but not doing it because I coululdn’t couldn’t pin down anything original or well thought out. recently I decided, screw it! I don’t think a whole lot of people read this. I don’t have a cause per se, so i’m just going to ramble.

tonight I had an icky dinner from a Medditerainian dinner, the food was cold, and would still have been sub par even if it were hot. wasted calories and money. I feel ill and that makes me feel twice as bad because I can’t smoke pot. I know it would help. i’m looking at the bong (i’ve got to put that into the waaay back of the garage, our deep storage space!) thinking if only, if only. the stupid painkillers have made me constipated (even though i’m taking stool softeners) and that is contributing to the awful pain in my gut.

the part, ok, one of the parts, that really bothers me is that the percoset that I had to give up the medical marijuana for, isn’t killing all the pain. in fact, my hips, pelvis, butt, and back are aching constantly and giving me sharp pains if I move much at all. whoop ti doo. if I lived out in the boonies, i’d be howling at the moon like an unhappy dog.  instead, i’m grinding my teeth and swearing under my breath.

i’m looking forward to tomorrow because amazon is bringing me a new coffee grinder and the thermal mug i’ve always wanted, but didn’t realize it existed. I love the heat retaining qualities of stainless steel but I hate drinking of a metal cup. this one is ceramic for the top few inches and stainless below. obviously the part you drink out of is thr ceramic part. yay!

i’m cold and tired, not to mention grumpy. it will be time to crawl into my delicious bed with my lovely family (consisting of my husband and my dog) and sleep away my troubles, if only temporarily. the cleaning people came today and changed the bed. it’s almost untouched. WHEEEE! lol

goodnight!!