chronic pain, drawing, photo manipulation, stress relief, Uncategorized, writing

more about one of my mandalas

a little while ago i posted some mandalas that i created by using some original, traditional drawings and photo manipulating them.

i wanted to delve into this idea a little more. actually i just want to show off my coolest mandala.

i think it looks sort of like flash for a traditional american style tattoo. maybe i should get it! actually, because because my fibromyalgia  makes my pain several times worse than it would be for someone with out the disease, so i’m not going to try it again. i’m mostly covered, anyway!

the symmetry of this mandala is just a pleasure for my brain to experience. the softness of the lines make it look kind of dreamy, something from a long time ago. obviously it gives me lots of ideas. that’s so fun!

it’s also fun to try out to different photo editing apps. i did that with  such programs on the pc,  but doing it with  my phone, i had to get apps to do it with. i found several and am checking them out. like anything you do first on the pc and then use on a device, there’s a learning curve, but it’s not like trying to learn to use PhotoShop!

i think this looks like a gate. maybe it’s a gate to a palace, or a crest over a door. i said tattoo already but it looks like i’m saying it again! it would be good painted on the back or a leather jacket (i had a jacket like that, but the painting i’d done on it wasn’t that great. haha!

it’s nice to remember that…and think about how incredibly much i’ve grown, artistically, over the years, especially over the last decade. i can’t believe that i’m still  on the art therapy journey, one that i hope will never end!




some of my tattoos!

these are some of my tattoos. i’m exhibiting them here, upon the request of another blogger. they’re all by Greg Kulz in San Francisco. he’s an amazing artist and tattooist, a good friend, too. he tattooed me for over 20 years! i haven’t any new ones in the last 5 years  or so; for a variety of reasons. they’re my pride and joy. even though they’re very old, they still look almost perfect. i have excellent skin for tattoos! yay!


celtic top-crop

neck tattoo new pink nikes with leg tattoos outside of right arm-crop tat


depression relapse

i have physical symptoms from stress/anxiety. right now it’s muscle cramps, incredibly painful. they show up mostly in my back, but lately it’s spread other body parts. i use flexeril (a muscle relaxant) for it now, have been for ages. but since the cramps keep coming back because i need something. i emailed my PCP and asked for her to talk about the problems, so we’ll see. right now i’m taking too much of the flexeril and will run out too soon. she’s usually super nice though, and responds to my mails very quickly.

i’m feeling sort of, stuck, i guess. i feel empty and have no motivation…

i guess i don’t need to wonder. the last 6 months were like climbing a mountain, i climbed a little more each day until

i reached the top and fell down the mountain, i think it’s a lot to do with the surgery. i feel so bad, so guilty, because peter is doing the laundry, cool, cook dinner and breakfast, does all the errands. i think he’s getting unhappy about it. thanks to mom for the guilt!

i’ve found myself starting at the wall for a long time. i don’t even remember what i was thinking or how long i was doing it. i have lots and lots of big empty spaces of time. bizarre.

i’m a medical marijuana patient and my dispensary delivers because lots of the patients are people like me who can’t drive.or can’t leave the house, because i have agoraphobia. i got a cookie and a brownie. and some buds. the edibles are great for pain or stress.

when i went to get the money out of the bank, i realized i had to go to 7-11 to break one of the $20s. i got up the counter and didn’t have the $20 bill anymore. i guess i dropped it. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


my best tattoo

neck tattoo

this is my favorite tattoo on my body! it wraps around my neck. all my tattoos are by greg kulz ,in San Francisco.

i love this baroque style. i have a similar one that covers the back of my left hand.

one of the best things about it is that it’s 17 years old and sill looks as good as it looked as it looked when i first got it!

i’ve never felt a moment of regret about getting tattoos over my body!