abstract, writing

true stories, posts from the past

my blog used to be totally different, way back a couple of years ago. this post was three posts on 1/20-1/23 2015.


As i sit here finishing the entire box of cornflakes, my mind wanders.

i hate the way i behaved when i worked at the stock brokerage. my boss overheard me telling some people that i injected insulin in my neck. i told them bout how my throat closed up and blood ran down my neck while i contemplated calling 911.

i’m drinking my third cup of coffee this morning and my mind wanders.

i was sitting in my psychiatrist’s unpleasant waiting room, shuffling through the same magazines that were always there when i remembered scamming my primary care doctor for a bottle of vicodin. i thought i had done so well that past week.

i closed my eyes and tried to recall taking the pills. i got a total blank. i sat there panicking, waiting 45 minutes for him to finish with his previous patient, who also had to wait 45 minutes since the doctor decided to take a long lunch.

i don’t know if i hated him or myself more.

i am at my desk, doodling, waiting for the doctor to call. i let my mind wanderi stepped out of my tattoo artist’s San Francisco house. the cars were parked tail to hood, tail, hood, and so on up the hill. my leg throbbed and there was blood seeping out of the bandage. i was stoned and high on endorphins . rain drops fell out of the sky, slowly.

i didn’t see my car.i walked up and down the streets around his house. panic was making my throat dry. my leg hurt, really bad. really really bad. i tried to remember what the houses around my parked car looked like. no clue.
i started crying. pretty soon i was sobbing. the tears poured down my face, dripped right off the end of my nose. i didn’t care. i didn’t give a fuck about anything but driving home in my warm, dry car.
i stopped at the same place i kept walking past over and over. finally i had to admit to myself that i was positive that it was where i left my car hours ago. then i saw the handwritten sign on the garage next to where my car should have been.
No Parking! You will be towed! No exceptions!

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