anxiety, art, art block, artist, chronic illness, chronic pain, comics, depression, disabled, fatigue, feelings, illness, Life

art block and life with chronic illness

i have an art block! these are always scary because as soon as it happens you worry that you ‘ll never paint or draw again. my days are so fickle, between the pain, which is different every day and my moods (i am bipolar)swinging.. thanks fibromyaia and thanks to my stupid spine not to mention my  ! since it’s nerve pain, accentuated by one’s emotions and stress levels, how much sleep you get, your anxiety, everything you can think of can cause a flare (an increased amount of pain and other symptoms of fibro, lasting for a few minutes to a few days. some days aren’t too bad and others are miserable.i’m sad to say my diabetes is out of control; i’m doing my best to  get it down, but i can’t seem to do it. i’m trying and i won’t give up.

the art block really sucks because i rely upon art therapy as part of what i need everyday. i see the art supplies and i feel a panicky need to get going on  painting. i sit down at the table  with all my painting supplies around me.

it’s useless. total fail. i get up from the table and got to the living room to read comics. i have a lot of new ones, so it’s pretty exciting. i went to the comic book store 3x this week!  i’ve been buying single issues rather than trade paperbacks, which are collect quite a few issues and are considered graphic novels. i’m trying to figure out what series i want to follow. there are so many different batman series going on and they’re all based on the batman story, tons of variations.

i’m so tired, i’m going back to bed. 😦 fatigue. so much more than  being tired. it feels like your limbs are lead and you have to sleep or you will have a panic attack.

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1 thought on “art block and life with chronic illness”

  1. I empathise with your frustration. Creative blockages are a nightmare since they feel contrary to what we are and gives a feeling of incompleteness. Trying to resist it is pretty useless… why it happens, I don’t really know but best to keep “distracted” and occupied with other things and it soon passes. The frustration remains though.

    As for the tiredness and nerve pain, extra frustration but the good thing is, you are listening and responding to your body. When you don’t listen or try and ignore it, the results can be awful. The last band I was in proved that to me as over the last 8 months I was with them, every single day where there was band business – gigs, rehearsals, meetings – I would be in a real state and with each passing month, it got worse until the final month when it developed into the most awful crippling panic attacks and a variety of physical problems. For that entire time, my body was trying to tell me to get out of the band… it was making me unhappy. I failed to respond so it got ever worse until I “got” the message and quit the band. Within a week, the physical symptoms vanished. So, sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do but ultimately is for the best and I trust you’ve been through plenty similar things to know what not to do.

    Liked by 1 person

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