I don’t really have anything to write about, but i’m unhappy and I have to get it out of my system. the debacle of the pain management agreement weighs heavily on my mind. no ganja.ever.again. I hate that this illness is screwing up my life in so many ways. I have so many things wrong with me. I get angry at myself for not being able to do things I could do befoe, even though, rationally, I know it isn’t my fault, but rationally isn’t the way I think. or feel. mostly I just feel, blindly.
i’ve started to paint everyday again, which is a wonderful thing.I moved a small selection of art supplies downstairs and paint at the dining room table with a big towel underneath. i’m doodling a lot,too. it’s very therepeutic.
I gave a painting to my psychiatrist yesterday. she likes me to bring my art to appointments sometimes , and we talk about it. I like that. she’s a really cool person. she has a dog that she brings to the office now and then. his name is rocko, which I think is hilarious. he’s a dachshund, which makes it hard not to love him!
my husband won’t be home for a couple of hours and i’m tired of being alone.