i’m afraid there won’t be any art discussions today.
i’m feeling really really bad and i need to write or something before i freak out.
the pain from my pinched nerve is really bad, maybe an 8. that’s bad enough, but i have to go to the dentist in about 2 hours. i’ve been wrestling in my mind, should i call them and bail, or should i just bail, or should i force myself to go cause it could be a high pain day anytime i was supposed to go to the dentist. i’m going to try to be a dental bad ass.
i’ve been sitting here all day, on the couch, with mackie and art stuff, comic books, my tablet, my music and i’m still on the verge of losing it. what will it be like when i have to sit in the same position for 20 or 30 minutes?? i don’t want to cry. i’ve cried there before and i do not want a repeat performance.
it’s really hot outside, something in the 90s. that will make it worse. going out into the heat makes me really panicky. i haven’t gotten my handicapped parking placard in the mail from the DMV yet, so i’ll have to park and walk. it’s not far to a healthy person, but for me, it’s going to be tiring and stressful.
i don’t want to leave home. there are so many things outside my house that i don’t want anything to do with! the pain in my legs and butt and hips is like electricity. and lots of other things like pressure and heat.
fatigue is getting me down.
i don’t know what to do with myself. all i can think of is the time ticking away until i have to leave to get there. i tell myself that i can have a treat after, but i imagine i’ll be so worn out and stressed that ill just want to collapse at home.
isn’t being at home a wonderful thing?
i need ice packs STAT.