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saved by jewelry…

many  years ago i was feeling so down, and bored, and very depressed that i felt desperately isolated and needing attention, validation. . i waited for my husband to come home much of the time. i started “officially” waiting a couple hours before he usually  got home. he needed time to himself and he’s a big gamer, so he was playing Everquest all the time. i bugged him to pay attention to me while he was playing. he tried to be nice, but it was wearing us both out.

at that time i used the computer for emailing and surfing,   nothing much else, until i needed to scan/shoot things and edit them. i searched my mind, when it got too miserable, for what i could do on my own that would take time and raise my self esteem. i had a friend who suggested that i make jewelry. i loved jewelry and loved creating things. i set up an etsy store and started buying materials there, mostly from other sellers. that was so much fun! i loved the silver, the bone, the horn, the semiprecious stones, the glass—-every sort you can think of, especially lampwork beads. i ventured into things like pearls and copper, porcelain, things i really couldn’t afford.

i didn’t sell much, there’s a lot of competition  and a lot of jewelry makers to compete with. i don’t do completion. i hate conflict, i don’t need to be the best, i don’t care where i am on the list of  great achievers. i want to live my life centered around positive things like doing things for the sake of doing them. that’s why i sold jewelry. i wanted to make jewelry. so i did it. it was fun when something sold, but it was so fun to handle the beautiful materials and to create things.

i made choker necklaces, that measured anywhere between 16″-18″. why did i choose something so specific and something so esoteric? i wanted to make things that i could wear! at that time i wore jewelry all the time, day and night. i wore things before putting them up for sale. i wore them a whole day to see if the necklaces were comfortable, easy to fasten on one’s own and if if they sat nicely on the neck. (i cleaned them before selling them, of course.)

i made lots of friends among the sellers and learned so much. i learned how to take pictures of jewelry. i had no idea how, i’d never had cause to learn that sort of thing.  i cringe when i see the early photos i shot. i had two friends as well as my husband,  who taught me to take good pictures. i learned a lot about color and design. i traded things with other sellers.

having that etsy shop and the work making the jewelry fulfilled all those needs i had, i stopped waiting all day for my husband to come home. no more spacing out all day. no more lack of stimuli.

it was the first social media i’d ever used. it was pretty early for that. eventually i couldn’t afford the supplies i was buying vs what i was selling. i had to stop. it had run it’s course, so it wasn’t a tough break. i didn’t just up and quit, i faded away.

after that i moved  on to myspace. but that’s another story!

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