this morning i woke up and immediately had a crappy start to the day. i realized i left my phone in the bed which means, first,that i didn’t charge it and second, that i have to search through the covers to find it. i don’t know if anyone else is like this, but i can’t exist without my phone while i’m waking up. it’s my version of reading the paper, like people used to do. i check my mail, all my social media, various comics and blogs i read, texts, voice mail messages, etc. etc. i sit in a comfy chair with a big glass of ice water and slowly come to life.
i was searching through the bed and andrew snapped at me, can’t you just call it and hurry up finding it. i was a little shocked, he almost never acts like that. i got the landline and found the phone had slipped behind the head board on the bed. i reached down as far as i could, and it wasn’t far enough. i used the cordless phone to try to push my cell phone to a place where i could reach it. meanwhile it was ringing all the time. he snapped again, leave it there until i get up! i started panicking and at the last moment reached the phone and got out of the bedroom.
he NEVER acts like that! granted, i was being annoying, but it’s always like that! i guess he was sleepy and didn’t have much patience. finally i had my water and my daily reading on the phone. i’m pleased with myself though, i didn’t keep panicking and get hurt and angry, like i usually would have. i was able to realize that it was just a little snippy moment and not the end of the world. if he ever says a sharp word to me, i fall apart. i didn’t want to get in a fight, or ruin our morning, so i had a talk with myself, lol, and decided to just ignore it.
when he got out of the shower and came downstairs for breakfast he was his normal cheerful self. i was pretty chill and it just passed.
hooray for not freaking out!
the bursitis seems even worse. the doctor told me i could take another pain pill everyday, making it a total of 4, because my pain was still so bad. no fun!
i have physical therapy today. i think it’s making my hand feel better!
now i feel tired and grumpy, despite all those jolly things i just said. meh.
i want to paint, i want to make a collage, i want to take some photos. i don’t feel inspired to do any of that. i’m working on a complex doodle again and that is bugging the crap out of me. i’m only doing it cause i can’t get myself to do anything else. i get hooked on wanting to make art, even if i feel like i can’t. it sucks because what i ought to do is read a book, watch a movie, go look for shadows to shoot, or even sleep. none of it seems possible.