yesterday was my first day of physical therapy. it wasn’t as bad as expected. i wasn’t worried about the pain, i was more concerned about logistics. my anxiety causes me to obsess and dread going to new places. i always feel sure that i’ll get lost or not be able to find a place to park, on and on. joy of joys! there was a huge parking spot on the street right in front of it!
the space was big enough that parallel parking wasn’t an issue (i failed parallel parking on my driving test back when i was 17). i was early for my appointment, but they started with me right away. they were nice, no problems with insurance. i didn’t like being in a public place or having to talk to people,face to face, though, but i dealt ok.
first they had me put my hand in a machine that circulated hot air through sand! it was weird as hell, but felt really good.
they measured how far i could bend my fingers and how much pressure i could grip with. she was concerned about how swollen it was. they we shocked that i had all five fingers fixed. they kept asking me, but how did you get trigger finger in all five fingers?? i told them i was badass. lol.
she spent a lot of time using things like smooth stones that had been kept in the freezer and an ultra sound thingy that she rubbed on my palm. she massaged my hand a lot and dug at it with a small very smooth piece of plastic with some anti-scar lotion. all that stuff was extremely painful!
she told me that they were trying to break up the scar tissue so that i can bend my hand all the way and use my fingers properly. she told me somethings to do at home to help, as well.
we talked about indian food most of the time; she’d just been to lunch at my favorite indian restaurant. we laughed because they often have a chalkboard with the daily specials, one of which is brain curry!
i was pretty tense. social anxiety sure makes small talk difficult! i wondered, do my teeth have something stuck in them, do i have bad breath, was there paint on my face, was my hair looking frizzy, did i have a stain on my shirt that i didn’t notice?
i took one of my painkillers afterwords, so the work out didn’t leave me in too much pain.
i made it though. i’ll go again on tuesday.
yay for things turning out better than i dreaded they would be!! sounds like i should have a more optimistic point of view.