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regarding the loss of my womb, an abstract painting.

in 2010 i had a radical hysterectomy. i had endometriosis and as a last resort they took out my entire reproductive system. i no longer have any of the problems i had had all my life, which was wonderful.
but i felt that something had been amputated–which is really what happened, if you think about it. i even have phantom period pains.
i had a very hard time coming to terms with this loss. i think i have, but it’s been difficult.

those feelings inspired this painting.

regarding the loss of my womb
regarding the loss of my womb
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15 thoughts on “regarding the loss of my womb, an abstract painting.”

    1. thank you! it’s nice to have it recognized as a loss. most people just think of not having to deal with having periods anymore, but it really seemed like something i had to mourn for a long time.
      i don’t know what i’d do without art!. that painting shows more about the feelings i had inside more than i could find the words for. πŸ™‚

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      1. You may know this already, but I didn’t. I went for decades without multiple hormone therapy I needed, ruining my love life and my career as a result because your brain and your feelings lack what they need. I hope you have an integrative doctor to watch over these challenges, from now on. I do think you are brave to do what needed to be done.

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      2. i have an endocrinologist because i’m diabetic, but after the surgery (actually way after, i didn’t think it mattered all that much) i was supposed to do HRT and i didn’t. i got sicker and sicker until i finally saw my primary care doc who referred me to an obgyn who helped me figured out what to take. i’ve been taking it for years and it does wonders. πŸ™‚ thank you! it was pretty damn scary!

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  1. oh thanks so much! it made me feel good to have a “brain dump” (i made that term up, lol) to get all the bad energy out of my mind. it’s much easier to speak through colors and atmospheres, shapes and textures than words.

    i’m very glad you like it! πŸ™‚

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    1. that’s fantastic! it is a good form of therapy , and helps push aside other things i’d do if i didn’t have that way to let bad feelings out. my psychiatrist looks at my art when i see her, that feels great!

      your idea to do something regularly where you want to or not is a good one!. it works for me. you feel like you’ve accomplished something just by doodling. doodling can be pretty sophisticated. i’ll have to post some of my really good doodles!

      if i can’t paint, my anxiety is through the roof. but when i do, it seems like weight is lifted from my shoulders! πŸ™‚

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  2. It sure is! The first time I saw my primary care doctor the nurse ask me when was the last of my most recent period and I said…I don’t have a uterus! I’m used to it now. It is like a miracle! πŸ™‚

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  3. Love the painting my friend great abstract,want to see more,thank you for your like, as I said language illusion came to me this afternoon only one draft then I posted it, fixed as I went, I just was saying that I am so grateful for all of this creativity,that has been coming out of me,did four collages on Thursday,I will have to start to post them soon
    As always Sheldon

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    1. thank you sheldon!

      creativity, especially productive creativity is indeed a gift. that’s excellent that you made all that artwork. can’t wait to see it!

      i want to write a post, but i can’t pin down something i want to write about. i’ve started writing the first paragraph about five times. perhaps i don’t have anything to say. πŸ™‚

      i did some painting this afternoon so maybe i should just post it and wait for the words to come.

      how often do you work on collages? i used to make them almost everyday, but my focus has shifted to painting recently. i have a bunch more collages that i haven’t posted here, so maybe i’ll post some more. πŸ™‚ nice to hear from you.

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      1. something is always going on with me,Thursday is art class. The rest of the week I do whatever comes,it’s been mostly writing, I wake anywhere between 1/5 am that’s when the magic happens, if you don’t have anything to say,write what you did today
        As always Sheldon

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      2. i think i’d enjoy taking an art class, but i have a terrible time being out of the house and even harder to be around people. i thought about taking an online class, but i couldn’t find anything that actually had a teacher interact with the students. it was all prepackaged lessons with no feedback.

        right before i answered this, i did just what you suggested, which i posted with my new painting. πŸ™‚

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