going to the airport

back when i could still travel, andrew and i decided to go to ireland. it was our first trip there. we were both into irish history and art, so we decided to go. we even splurged to stay in a castle owned by the Guiness family. it was a dream trip. i couldn’t wait to go.

the morning we were leaving i was wired, felling stiff as a board, consumed by anxiety. i felt guilty because i might be ruining it for andrew, who loved to travel. he’s the most mellow person i’ve ever met. traveling was a breeze to him,so he was able to be there for me. i guess that’s why we work so well together. opposites attracting, and all…

i sat on the sofa in the dark at 5 am, surrounded by everything (hopefully) that i couldn’t do without. that took up 3 suit cases and two carry on bags. (we were only going for a week!) my right arm developed a terrible muscle cramp that just would not relax. it was so painful i cried. andrew reminded me over and over that it was anxiety that was causing the pain. i shivered there, clutching his hand and crying.

ireland was wonderful, the castle was wonderful, but i wonder, was it worth it?

btw, does anyone else get physical symptoms from anxiety? (i do a lot.)


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